does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
