Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
