Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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