haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
