I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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