it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
