If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
stop calling my apartment porn island.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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