Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
