I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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