There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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