can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
