You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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