The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
