It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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