Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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