Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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