My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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