Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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