I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
pray to the hookup gods
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
