god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize