I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
