I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
