I am spending my child support on dildos
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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