I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We are all done wearing pants today
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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