he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
