and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
