how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize