No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
