they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
