you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
