Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
