i jhust puked up my retainher.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize