i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
