after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
