Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
