Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
