I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
tonight lets celebrate not being married
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
