I wanna passion pit in your ass
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
