does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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