He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
