To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Is Oprah even human
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I think i got beer on your cat.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
