Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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