Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize