I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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