so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
