I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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