6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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