yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
