Sry I called you an 8
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
