Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
