Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
