Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
