who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
