He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
