The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
