he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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