WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
