You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
BRING THE BAGELS
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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