I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
