did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
