hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
