sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
