That's intense
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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