im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
