we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
