ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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