I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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